2020 has been a tremendously challenging year for everyone - emotionally, financially, physically and mentally. In March, we were plunged into lockdown which saw me plummet into a state of anxiety and worry that I had never experienced before but getting put on the furlough scheme was obviously a much needed lifeline and what felt a bit like a blessing in order to protect my home. For those who don't know I live alone and therefore pay all the bills myself so the last few months have been very grim financially. 4 months on full time furlough would send anyone a wee bit mad but you can read what I got up to here (HOW I'M STAYING SANE DURING LOCKDOWN).
In July, I got a very welcomed call to go back to work part time. I couldn't wait to get back to a bit of normality and a bit of a proper routine. Even though we were never really out the woods I still felt an overwhelming feeling of relief that I was going back to work after a long time away. The same month my sister made the hard decision to postpone her wedding due to covid which was devastating to the family after months of excitement and planning and not only that her hen do was also cancelled due to the restrictions so if any brides to be or grooms to be are reading this and were due to get married this year we stand in solidarity with you!
When August and September hit, I was so sure that things were going to start to turn around for, not just myself and my family but all of us. Boy was I wrong. My gran was rushed to hospital, she had been battling COPD for years but she had entered the final stages of it and needed constant 24 hour care. At the time my gran was admitted to hospital, the restrictions changed meaning no one from the family was allowed to visit her despite her fragile state and three very close calls. Thankfully, she was released after 5 weeks in hospital and got to come home. Unfortunately, she passed away 6 days after being released but we all managed to say our final goodbyes and she passed peacefully and comfortably.
Mary Stewart 1939-2020
My Gran was the nicest and warmest person ever. She had a wonderful smile that would be brighten up the darkest of rooms. First on the dance floor and last to leave it, she was full of life and had a really great life full of love, dancing, happiness and bingo! She was strong minded Possil born wummin and didn't take anything nonsense from anyone.. particularly my Granda calling him a smart arse until the very end. She always inspired us to be the same and with 2 daughters, 3 grand daughters, 1 grandson and 1 great grand daughter you better believe we're all cut from the same cloth. My gran and Granda met when they were 18 years old and toured the country jiving back in the day, they were together 63 years which is truly remarkable. My gran had the biggest personality and will very much be missed by everyone who knew her.
A month after my gran passed, I lost my job. Now, if you're all still reading this, you could probably imagine that I needed a drink. I joined the Monday Wine Club that night, followed by the Vodka and Tequila club as well and effectively drank the flat dry to nurse a very battered and bruised ego accompanied by a helluva lot of tears.
When you feel like life is bullying you, its easy to let yourself fall into a very dark place. Even though life has been rotten for me and dealt me some really bad luck recently, I feel really positive, empowered and motivated to keep moving forward for new opportunities. If you find yourself in the same position as I have, please don’t take the decision to terminate your employment personally! Unfortunately it’s the reality we live in right now. Update your CV, look at your skills , experience and absorb them whilst adding a dose of confidence into order to radiate them onto new opportunities. Ask yourself if you can transfer your skills and experience to help clients in a freelance capacity. It’s only natural to allow yourself to feel what you need to feel in order to move on and I did that on Monday night. Even though I lost my job and source of income, I take a lot of positives from my previous employment, I have learned so much and can only take my skills, experience and top class patter that will only benefit another business. I have already had some really exciting conversations and I can't wait to see what life throws at me next... think I'm due some good times. Rx
